Merry Pink Christmas

We did Christmas a little late this year, so all your unborn friends have probably been bragging about their haul for days while you two have been forced to wait. The upside is that you two cleaned up. You're not even born and I think you probably came out ahead of me. There were a lot of packages with my name on them, but unless I develop a use for half inch pink socks I think most of the stuff was for you. If I needed any reminders that people don't see me as a person anymore, but a father, I needed look no farther than the Christmas tree.

We got a big check that's supposed to go towards getting you guys some furniture, but I'm thinking about hijacking that for an Xbox. If that sounds like it's for me, you're confused. I'm just more concerned about helping develop your hand eye coordination than giving you a place to sleep. Does that make me a bad parent? Well, yes, I guess when you see it written down it does kind of point that way.

I blame your mom. Walking around with the two of you hanging off the front of her, it's an invitation to talk about the babies. I love you two, but it's too much for me right now. I need a week or two without answering questions about your diapers or college funds. I need a weekend where someone doesn't talk to me about sleep deprivation. I need a day without pink.

Maybe you'll be inventors and you'll come up with some sort of invisible baby belt that expectant parents wear so no one sees what's coming. You tell them you're pregnant, you have a chat about it, and then everyone forgets for nine moths, until presto, out you come. Maybe I'm in the minority. Maybe there's a legion of folks out there who can't wait to talk about poop and preschool, the sooner the better. But I doubt it. I kind of think that if you could put together an invention like that, one that lets you simultaneously be pregnant and have a conversation about something else, well, my people would rise up and clear them off the shelves. I kind of think that if you do that, you can put yourselves through college. And if nothing else, that's one less question I'd have to answer.

I wonder if there's a culture that doesn't have a word for pink. If so we might have to consider relocation.

Novel - Update this week
Dunking - New year, new program
French - Your aunt speaks German, we're seeing if she'll work for 45 cents an hour