Thursday, March 13, 2008

Mystery Goal

So, briefly, we went to a friends house. They had a basketball goal. I went outside to get something out of the car. I figured, what the hell. I took a stab at it.

Under no circumstances could I have gotten a basketball down, but I managed to get my whole hand over the rim and then grab onto it. A tennis ball would have been doable.

My immediate thought was that this was obviously not a 10 foot rim. I mean I haven't measured my leap in a while, but this would be a significant improvement. The friends assured me it's regulation, but I remain highly skeptical.

I think the larger point here is, what exactly is the point of all this? I mean, the novel thing, the French thing, I can see how those are mildly useful (I can discuss writing bad novels in bad French). But what exactly will I do with my new skill dunking tennis balls on below regulation basketball goals? Should this go at the bottom of my CV under 'fun facts'. I guess that would require me to make a CV. This is like telling someone you can throw a Nerf football 70 yards. The fact that you would know that about yourself actually sounds more pathetic than not being able to throw a Nerf football at all. (BTW I'm good for about 40 yards with the Nerf)

I think that for me, this was the one that was important because it really served no purpose. There's nothing to remind yourself of when you're jumping around the gym like an idiot that will make the looks you're getting from other people seem worth it. I'm not jumping to cure cancer or set a record. It's just a stupid thing I wish I could do and can't. It means absolutely nothing to anyone else anywhere else in the entire universe. And I guess I'm obsessed with the idea that my freedom to pursue stupid things that only matter to me has a shelf life of about six more weeks. When you think about it that way I probably should have chosen a better task.

Anyway, I want to believe that the issue is not that this rim is low, but that all this time I've just been jumping at nothing and that actually having the rim to go after made all the difference in the world. What I really needed was to have something to shoot for. That sounds poetic. That sounds like a life lesson. That sounds like something you guys should pay attention to. Which kind of makes me sound like a dad.

Which is why it's probably bullshit.

We're only a ladder and a tape measure from finding out.

Novel - F (out of G)
Dunking - Applicant can dunk golf balls at neighbor's house. Also, applicant can drive forklift.
French - Tetons, if you missed it in the comments. Tetons.

1 comment:

piereth said...

Hi Mr Kyle, hope all's well with the impending... hadn't seen you around so thought I'd drop you a line. Sending you and yours all the best from Piereth and the Mouse!

 

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